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  • Writer's pictureCatherine Norton

The Paradox of Emotional Security

I woke thinking about how we all have these super tender, fragile and heavily defended places in our hearts. I might have a secret fear that I am not worth loving. Someone else might feel awkward or stupid. Maybe another person never quite got over being rejected by the person they thought would be the love of their life. And another was abandoned by a parent and doesn't know why. The hurts go on ad infinitum. These are just a few examples.

Pain is a part of life for everyone. No one is immune. If there is one thing all humans share, it is the commonality of emotional pain.

We take these fears and pains and hide them. We try to fake being "strong" and "normal" (whatever that is). We bury the hurts and shovel as much dirt on top as we can. We enter into social contracts to never discuss the painful things. And we police others who do... saying things like "don't give energy to that!" or "focus on the positives!"

And yet, the more heavily we guard these tender secrets, the MORE VULNERABLE and unhappy we feel.

This is a paradox.

Image courtesy of the Canva pro media library.

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