People who are sex positive understand that everyone is sexual and that sex is a natural, normal and healthy part of our human experience. They feel comfortable talking about sexuality, and tend to be less judgmental of the consensual experiences of other adults.
This doesn’t mean they frequently have sex or have many partners. Maybe they decide to wait for marriage. Maybe they don't. Perhaps they choose to never have sex with another person at all. That’s okay too. The important point is that they are consciously making choices that are right for them.
Sex positive folks define what is and what is not okay for their body. They can describe their experiences, and communicate their wishes without shame or embarrassment. This is important for deepening bonds in intimate relationships and safeguarding health.
I bumped into this issue earlier today when someone who read The Stain expressed shock at the ease with which Cassandra describes her intimate experiences. I paused and thought, "Ah, so THAT is what this is about." A taboo. We are not “supposed” to talk about these things!
Okay. So why not?
I would expect anyone I’d consider having a romantic relationship with to be mature enough to talk about sex, wouldn’t you? I can't imagine being in a relationship without this level of communication.
The Stain challenges readers to confront their own discomfort with sexuality by listening to someone else tell an intimate story. How very interesting.
Have you ever heard the term “Sex Positive” before? How sex positive are you?
Photo courtesy of the Canva pro media library.
People also seem uncomfortable with terms for body parts, like penis and vagina, but elbow and toe are fine. I suppose that is from growing up in an environment where sex is shameful and must never be talked about?
We need to challenge the dysfunctional beliefs that remain in us as adults so we can have healthy relationships, good boundaries and enjoy the beautiful gift of sexuality we've been given.
If The Stain lifts this issue to people's self awareness, great. Being sexual is nothing to be ashamed about. We each can choose how to express it in ways that feel good to us.
I believe I've heard that term. Sounds so healthy! Really appreciate how you are able to get your message across in short blog post. That's a sign of a good writer, saying more using less words.
I find really long blogs hard to read, but a long novel is ok. Kinda wonder why that is.
Oh, and I guess I'm pretty sex-positive now... wasn't always the case for me.