There are times when people act selfishly and intentionally wrong others, like the person who sells a used car without disclosing everything they know is wrong with it. We learn from these experiences and try not to make the same mistake twice. Don't buy from that guy again!
And yet, the closer the relationship is, the more it hurts - "I loved you, and you dumped me," "I was a child who depended on you, but you weren't there," "I trusted, but you stole from me," or the "I worked hard, but you gave the promotion to someone else" kinds of emotional wounds. Grief and distress are normal, and those feelings deserve expression. But when a year goes by, or twenty, and we are still upset, emotionally paralyzed, and unable to move on, we most certainly have a problem. We are out of flow and missing out on all of the new opportunities life is trying to connect for us. Life loses meaning.
What is it about being "wronged" that we find so hard to heal? Why can't we chalk it up to our ignorance, as in the sleazy car dealer learning experience?
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