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  • Writer's pictureCatherine Norton


This scenario rose for several friends over the years - a neighbor installs new security lighting they leave on all night. How dare they? It's like a spotlight shining right into my bedroom! Light pollution! I can't see the stars! They are wasting electricity! What are they afraid of? Nothing bad ever happens here!

Clearly, there are many reasons why neighbors "should" be more mindful. But of course, this isn't about the neighbor at all. It's about me, the complainer. The fact I am grumbling about my jerk neighbor instead of taking care of the problem is a red flag calling for self-reflection - there is a wound within calling for attention to heal.

We don't buy curtains because we need to be irritated enough for an emotional wound to rise to the surface for release. Complaining serves the purpose of expression – we are voicing an objection to something that happened in the past and being heard helps us heal. Both irritation and complaining serve a purpose. Pay attention.

Ask: When in the past did someone violate my personal boundaries, act inconsiderately and hurt me?

Sit with those thoughts and feelings. Then go buy curtains.

Image courtesy of the Canva pro media library.

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