Authentic Love Starts With Truth
Have you ever thought someone was “perfect” and were shocked to find out they were not? Well, you are not alone. Everyone has because we humans are wired to see the world through the lens of our own desires.
This is something I explore in The Stain. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a millionaire sweep you off your feet and be the sweet prince you expect him to be? What happens when facts emerge to suggest a different story? Do we deny what we see so we can keep believing? Or do we integrate the new information into a more rounded, realistic vision of the person and love them anyway?
I hear tales of exes who were terrific and became monsters overnight. I wonder if the “victims” fell in love with their own fantasy and never knew the other person at all. Maybe they denied a truckload of evidence to remain in that story. When the illusion could no longer be maintained, et voila! A monster suddenly appeared in the room!
This Jekyll & Hyde effect suggests a biological purpose: to help us fall in love, reproduce, start families, and live in communities.
What would it be like to see others precisely as they are, flaws and all, and love them anyway? Isn’t that how we all hope to be loved? We can practice doing this every day with everyone we meet.
People are who they are, not who we want them to be.
The simple truths are often the most profound.
Image courtesy of the Canva pro media library.